We'll Work on the Spooning
by DNAisUnique
Summary: B/B doing what they do best--argue and banter. One-shot.


This is just a little something that's been rolling around in my head for weeks and apparently wasn't going to leave me alone until I got it out! I don't own _Bones_ or any of the characters. This is purely for fun. :)

Hope you enjoy!

Seeley Booth awoke to find a pale, slender arm draped lazily across his side and stomach and a pair of silky legs entwined with his own. Then he felt half a dozen or so feather-light kisses on his shoulder blade. He smiled as the word 'scapula' flashed through his mind.

"Bones?"

"Mmm. Who else did you think I was?"

"What are you doing?"

"Spooning," she sighed innocently.

He grinned and chuckled before rolling onto his back and pulling her into his embrace. "Spooning is done the other way."

"What?"

"Female in front, male in back. That's the correct way."

"That's ridiculous, Booth," she huffed, even though she didn't move.

"Don't get your panties in a wad, _Sweetheart_."

"That's kind of hard to do if I'm not wearing any, _Honey_. That's your fault."

"You call it fault, I call it skill. Besides, it's a figure of speech. Anyway, just hear me out. The spooner—the man—is the protector. He's on the outside to shield his treasure."

Temperance Brennan laughed in spite of herself. "You know, if you'd said that to me a year ago, I would've kicked your ass. And you do know that 'spooner' isn't a real word, right?"

Booth laughed and ran his fingers lightly down her arm. "Since I'm relatively safe from an ass-kicking, you're going to love this. The spoonee—the woman—needs protecting from the elements."

"We're in the bedroom. The only elements in here are nitrogen and oxygen, which are essential for human existence. We're in no imminent danger, and therefore your logic is flawed. Using your words, I could consider you my treasure, and in doing so, I would become the protector—or spooner—and you would be my spoonee. 'Spoonee' isn't a real word either."

"It's a good thing I never tire of your incessant need to correct everything I say."

"I don't correct _everything_ you say," she teased.

He chuckled. "See what I mean? Okay, I'll try a different, more rational approach. In most traditional relationships, the man is physically larger than the woman. Body parts are more easily aligned when the bigger ones are on the outside."

"Booth, most traditional relationships involve only two people. There can't be an inside and an outside with just two people."

"You know, Bones, sometimes I think you argue with me simply because you get off on it."

She smiled and kissed his chest. "Maybe I do." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "And maybe you're trying to change the subject hoping I'll forget that I won that argument. One that I didn't start, by the way."

"You _so_ did not win that! I concede to you that it's difficult to have an inside and an outside with two people, but the overall argument was on the correct spoonage—and yes, I know that's not a real word."

"If you're so sure of yourself, prove it."

"Challenge accepted," he said, rolling onto his side, facing away from her. "Try to spoon me, baby!"

She snickered. "You sounded like Zack _and_ Hodgins just then."

"Hey," Booth protested. "No squint references in this bedroom!"

She rolled her eyes, but resumed the position they'd been in minutes before—her front to his back, her arm across his abdomen, legs tangled.

"See what I mean, Bones? Not exactly comfortable, is it?"

"Works for me. I don't see what the fuss is all about."

"You're incorrigible. That was spooning option one. Now for option two."

He rolled to his other side, forcing her to roll as well. His front was now to her back, his arm enveloping her easily, legs intertwined effortlessly. He kissed a sensitive spot on her neck, and she wiggled against him.

"That was _so_ not fair."

"All is fair in love and spooning. Now, honestly, isn't this better?" he questioned, pulling her closer to him.

"I suppose this option does have some advantages. There's _something_ poking me, though. I don't remember any pokers in the other example." She couldn't hide the playfulness in her voice.

"That poker, my dear, is your fault."

"You call it fault, I call it skill," she grinned, throwing his words back at him. "Preliminarily, I'd say that spooning option two is more logical than spooning option one, but further tests will be needed to validate that statement."

"In other words, we'll work on the spooning."

"That's what I just said, Booth."

"I'll be the spooner, and you'll be the spoonee…" He smiled and kissed the sensitive spot on her neck again, then rolled to his side of the bed and sat up. He eased off the bed and made his way to the door, only to pause with his hand on the doorknob.

"Hey, Bones?"

"Yeah?"

"I won that argument!" Even though he heard her muffled laughter, he knew he would pay for it later.


End file.
